So, I started a new job this month. That’s pretty crazy considering that I was at
my last job for 17.5 years and I always joked that I could be the poster child
for my job. I loved *almost* every
aspect of it. I’ve kept pretty quiet the
job change. There’s so much in my heart
and head to say…I’ve struggled for months now on how to put it all in to words. In all honesty, the struggle continues, but I
am breaking my silence to tell you some things I have learned thus far.
For all of you non-teachers out there here is a quick lesson
on a business aspect of the teaching world.
Basically since the dawning of time if a teacher transfers school
districts they can only take 7 years of experience with them – this translates
into a salary issue as teachers get cost of living raises with each year they
have taught. And this translates into
the fact that for the most part, after 7 years of teaching – teachers stay put
because the alternative is a huge deduction in salary. This year a couple of school districts in my
city changed the game by saying they would honor ALL years of service to any
teacher looking to move school districts.
Was I looking? Not necessarily…but
the idea of working closer to my daughters kept gnawing at me. And, I’m not gonna lie – last year was a Really.
Difficult. Year. Change was tantalizing.
I decided to apply just to see what would happen. I received a call about an interview before I
had even submitted my application for review.
I was driving on the highway and immediately burst in to tears. The thought of this possible change made me
run the gamut of emotions. I didn’t even
know if I wanted this. It was
terrifying. How could I leave all my
work friends? People I’ve fostered
friendships with for 17 years?! How
could I leave the kids in the neighborhood where I was teaching? I’ve had former student’s kids for goodness
sake. Didn’t they need me? Would a job change make me a sellout? My mind was full of questions.
At the time all of this was happening I was reading an
autobiography by Steven Curtis Chapman. He
is a person of faith I have great admiration for – he has lived through many
mountains and valleys throughout his career and seemed to always remain a
person of integrity. Something he said
in his book really resonated with me. He
posed the question, “How do I know if the step I am considering taking is a
step God wants me take?” Good
question. How many of us have also asked
this question! I was currently asking
myself this very question, amongst many others.
One of his mentors answered him by saying something to the effect of, “When
opportunity presents itself, you move forward. You move forward until a door
closes and changes your direction.” I
decided to take that advice. I was going
to continue to move forward until a door was closed.
The thing is, I have always had a unique perspective on my
job. I’m not a missionary in the
traditional sense, but I’ve always considered my job to be equivalent to a
missionary. I honestly believe as Christ
followers we are all missionaries regardless of our jobs. Our job in life is to shine the light of
Christ and God’s love to whomever we encounter.
And whether you are religious or not – I think we as human beings can
all agree that we often are the only light/good/happy/positive force that those
around us may interact with that day. There
is a lot of darkness/adversity/hate/ugliness in the world. Needless to say I take my job as someone
shaping young minds very seriously. I
want my students to feel loved and safe and I want them to remember me as a
kind person who loved them and inspired them to do their best. (OMG full disclosure – I cannot even type
this without crying and I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that I actually teared up
in my interview when discussing this. I
figured at that point everyone in the room deemed me as a crazy person.) Whatever they thought of me, I ended up
getting a job.
I have wrestled with God most of the summer. I spent many days asking myself “What have I
done?” It certainly has been a season
filled with bittersweet days. Like I
said, I loved my job. I loved my
school. I loved my coworkers. I loved my students. It was painful to leave. It still is painful. I miss my people. J But in the midst of my wrestling, God
revealed a very clear vision to me. As
much as I miss so many things about my “old” job, I know I am exactly where I
am supposed to be. Most times being
obedient to His calling is hard. And we
all know change is hard. Change. Is. So.
Hard.
But the Lord is gracious and kind and has allowed me a few
priceless gems during my transition.
When I asked, “Who will love the kids if I go?” He answered me with a couple of new staff
members that I know share similar views to myself on loving those kids. He gave me a passionate new boss whose vision
aligns parallel with mine. And a team of
grade level cohorts with common vision on many levels.
I’m enjoying my students.
They too need to be loved. And I
feel like I was specifically brought here to love them and inspire them and
show kindness to them. And although I
still grieve the closing of the previous chapter of my life, I am trying to rest
in this chapter and realize I will stay here until I am called elsewhere.
Philippians 1:6 – “Being confident of this, that He who
began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ
Jesus.”